Part 1. Brunch : an Instagram frittata. At thirty ; Awkward first date ; I want to write your mom's Match.com profile ; My mother, my daughter ; The triplets ; This is why I'm poor ; Skin rashes and arthritis ; The tapeworm diet ; I want to put a fat bitch on network television -- Part 2. Good (food) in bed : having diarrhea all the time is the worst. Milk and oreos ; Black Beauty ; The many varieties of hospital broth ; The terror of love ; Sorry I shit on your dick ; How to get your disgusting meat carcass ready for some new, hot sex ; Massive wet asses -- Part 3. Dinner on the couch. Forest Whitaker's neck ; Bitches are my jam ; A bearded gentleman ; Would dying alone really be so terrible? ; I really don't eat this much salad! ; Thumbsucker ; I should have a car with power windows by now --- End : ooh, dessert and cocktails!